In the Hindu paradigm, it is Shiva and Shakti. Shakti is the play of consciousness in the world. Shiva is the nothing. Shiva is a still, unmoving witnesses of the world. Shiva is absolute consciousness, itself. These characteristics help us to understand the differences. When the male and female essences get together, there is a merging of light and consciousness. This alchemical energy is the essence of real intimacy, one of ecstatic, passionate love deeply merging with God.
The female essence needs to hear one thing: to know she is loved. If the male essence does not communicate to the female that she is loved, things don’t work so well. What the male essence needs is to know that he is succeeding and not failing. The difference in needs causes the male and female essences to communicate on different levels, which, if we are conscious enough about these essences, we can fruitfully bridge these different levels of perception and need. All communication—in relationship, in lovemaking, and in everyday life—has to hold both of these messages. By understanding these essences, we can give and receive in a way that uplifts the other person and allows space for them to be their full, authentic self. In order for this to be possible, however, both people have to be operating from the same level of intention and awareness.
On a higher level, sacred relationship is about the alchemical merging into God. The goal is supporting each other, by both giving their holy gift. The female essence gives her holy gift, not to attract a man, but simply to be the radiance of the Divine... Her gift is to inspire everyone into that radiance. The male essence sees beauty and is inspired to give his gift of the Nothing. She inspires him, and he inspires her. That is a subtle spiritual essence of sacred relationships.
In sacred relationship, the essential question becomes, “How can love and light shine most fully?” Even if we give up our personal preferences, it is for the sake of a deeper being—to be the expression of God. In sacred relationship, we also may use sexuality to liberate love and open ourselves to the Divine. It is where sexuality is used to inspire and share love with the world to merge the Heavens and the Earth.
The feminine is serving the fullness of love. The masculine essence seeks emptiness, death, liberation, and meditation. In terms of sexual relationship, with ejaculation, a kind of emptiness is created. At another level, if we place more focus on non-ejaculatory sex, we can create the potential for a more sensitive multi-level orgasm for both men and women, in which we merge into each other and become one.
Eros is the Essence of Sacred Relationship at its highest level. Sexual relationship, at the deepest level of sacred relationship, is the unity of consciousness and light. It is experienced as an alchemical merging. The female essence is looking for a male who can feel her depth. The male essence shows her love through an intense presence and intention. The most important thing, as we move into eros for the female essence, is for the male to be present. The male essence is looking at a range of female energetics. Because the male is expressing the One, he is looking for balance. The male has to offer his presence, and the female has to other the full range of the female essence. At the level where sex between the male and female essences liberates the gifting of love, eros begins. Eros is the ability in a relationship to perceive the inner beauty of the other. It allows us to celebrate the divine essence of the other. But eros is bigger than just this—eros is celebrating the divine in all of creation. In this overall context, sacred relationship is a powerful spiritual path to liberation. In the context of sacred relationship, love is not blind; it is a microscope that helps us see and experience the authentic deepest holy Truth of the other.
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