Clear your mind. Start fresh. Ask yourself . . . what are you creating?
What are you committed to in your relationship with this person? Love? Connection? Health? It may be many things—but for a number of us, it all comes down to love, empowerment, health, and freedom. Focus on one or two words. Whatever it is for you, can you see that creating a conversation from that commitment will be much more effective than coming from an expectation of tension, frustration, or misunderstanding. You are the one to create what you are committed to: love, health, empowerment, and freedom—or whatever else you want to create. You are the one. No matter what. And then be open to creating something new.
Because there are endless possibilities in communication, and there are many different types of people whose perspectives of what is valid or important differ, I invite you to be open to a multitude of outcomes, but first, create a foundation of open communication.
When it comes down to it, nothing is too difficult to hear or do if it pertains to the health of our child. The truth frees us from enslavement to the status quo. It empowers us to a new course of action. It opens up possibilities.
Create a Foundation of
Open Communication:
1. Be interested in what matters to the person to whom you are speaking. Make sure to be present, fully focused on them and their world. Listen.
2. Get in their shoes. Understand that,no matter what their complaint,they are really coming from love…and a whole new conversation and a whole new relationship will unfold.
3. Ask if you can share something that you have learned. Ask if you can share something that you have recently learned about and think might be helpful. Ask for permission. If they say no, respect that and wait for another time. If they say yes, then share what you learned. Briefly. Simply. Gently. Speak authentically.
4. Share only one fact about your topic at a time. Then be quiet. Do not lecture or inundate them with information. Wait for them to ask you questions about it before you give them more information.
5. Acknowledge their feelings. Try the technique ‘Feel, Felt Found.’ For example, when they say that organic food is too expensive, you may say, “ I know how you feel, I felt the same way when I saw the price of organic bread. But you know what I found? I found that when I stopped buying soda, which is unhealthy anyway, and just drank lemon water, I was able to use that money for organic bread.
And when I ate organic bread I did not get the brain fog, belly fat, and rashes that I used to have for years!
This article was excerpted from UNSTOPPABLE: Transforming Sickness and Struggle into Triumph, Empowerment, and a Celebration of Community by Zen Honeycutt. Now more than ever we need to have honest, direct conversations with our friends and family about what measures they can take to keep themselves and their family healthy and safe.
Moms Across America is a 501c3 nonprofit organization whose motto is
“Empowered Moms, Healthy Kids.”