A question I get a lot is, "How can I feel good about my appearance when I feel bad about my weight?"
Can you relate? Maybe you tell yourself that you need to lose weight before can wear clothes that you like, and feel attractive.
Nothing could be further from the truth!
In fact, staying in the “I can’t have what I want until I’m skinny” mentality is exactly what keeps us in a yo yo cycle of deprivation, dieting, and bingeing.
When we give up dieting, we also give up the belief that we deserve to be treated well only after we have lost the weight.
I want you to feel good TODAY, and so I’ve put together a list of things you can do to revamp your perspective, your wardrobe and your life… without spending a million dollars! I also want to clarify something: I don’t care what you wear, how much makeup you put on, or what color your hair is.
But, I do care about how you feel about yourself. And I see no reason why you shouldn’t feel good about yourself starting right now.
Dress for Success Tip #1: Change the belief that only skinny can be beautiful.
How many times have you stopped yourself from getting ready or looking good because you didn’t feel good?
Our minds often tell us “I can’t believe you at that! You’re a failure, and if you’re a failure, I’m not going to let you leave the house feeling good about yourself. If you don’t feel good, you don’t look good!”
Well, I’m not sure who gave that voice permission to say what is or what is not pretty, but that voice sure sounds nasty and awful.
A quick Google search of “Curvy models” will pull up thousands of images of women feeling good in their skin at the size that they are at. One of my favorites, Iskra Lawrence, posted on Instagram with a picture of her relaxed (with some cute rolls showing!). The caption reads,
“Your fat rolls are beautiful🙌. And the reason we have been lead to believe they aren't is because we don't see them in the media unless someone's being shamed for weight gain or ridiculed for their body. This is NOT the truth and not OK. Having rolls of skin / fat that are soft / squidgy or big / small does not define your beauty. I wanted to show you how my body looks when I'm relaxed and when I'm posing right next to each other so you can see how easy it is to manipulate how a body looks. (I filmed myself doing this for you on my YouTube)
As a model in the industry 13 years I've seen nearly all the pics chosen of me for lingerie & swimwear shoots are the ones where my stomach looks flattest.
Which for a long time lead me to believe that's how I should look.
Because even if I did happen to have a few shots where I'm in a position you can see back fat or rolls someone had decided it's more "beautiful" "aspirational" or will inspire more customers to buy the product if those so called "flaws" don't exist.
But things are changing I remember the first time I saw curvier models in editorials with their rolls and back fat and I remember the first time I shot with @aerie and they wanted me to not pose but be real and just myself. Then when I saw my first campaign with them and I could see my unretouched body - pics with rolls / back fat I'm not gonna lie I was shocked. That quickly turned into joy because they made me feel good enough and knew that those "flaws" didn't mean I wasn't beautiful in fact showing that their models didn't have to be "flawless" was incredibly empowering.